When I first resumed my NYSC year, I had a simple goal: gain experience, be useful, and make the most of the opportunity. But no one told me that serving could feel like a quiet form of survival.
My Place of Primary Assignment (PPA) started with a promise. I was placed in a seemingly good organization, and I was eager to learn. However, as the weeks passed, the pressure mounted quietly. I found myself working Mondays through Saturdays. On CDS days, I was allowed to attend, but then asked to return to work immediately afterward.
It didn’t feel like service anymore. It felt like submission. Silent, exhausting submission.
At first, I brushed it off.
“It’s not that bad.”
“You’re just adjusting.”
“Everyone else is coping.”
But the truth was: I wasn’t. I was burning out.
Why It’s So Hard to Walk Away
The idea of leaving my PPA felt like a betrayal — not just of the people I worked with, but of my expectations. I started to ask myself, “Why am I so afraid to leave?” And the answers came in slow, uncomfortable waves:
- You’re wired to make the most of opportunities.
That thought — “What if I just endure it and it turns out to be worth it?” — lingered constantly. I was scared to waste a placement, even if it was draining me. - You’ve been told that suffering equals growth.
Especially in Nigeria, there’s this deep-rooted culture of enduring everything, as if pain is a rite of passage. But I’m starting to learn: real growth doesn’t have to hurt. - You’re afraid you won’t find something better.
The unknown is terrifying. What if I leave and end up somewhere worse? But what if I stay… and lose myself quietly? - You see others ‘coping’ and feel guilty for struggling.
But everyone’s threshold is different. And mine had been crossed.
A Quiet Breaking Point
The day I started Googling “how to request a rejection from your NYSC PPA,” I knew something had shifted in me.
I hadn’t submitted the letter. I hadn’t even spoken to anyone about it yet. But internally, the dam had broken. I was done pretending everything was okay. I didn’t have the full courage to leave — but I had stopped lying to myself. That was the beginning of something new.
The Myth of Laziness
There’s this unspoken fear among corps members: that if you speak up, or leave, or ask for help, you’ll be seen as lazy. Like you’re not serious. Like you’re the problem.
But what if the real problem is a culture that equates silence with strength?
I’m not lazy. I’m just human. I want to serve. I want to grow. But I don’t want to be drained in the name of “experience.”
Sometimes, Choosing Yourself is the Bravest Thing You Can Do
It’s not easy to say, “This is not working for me.”
It’s not easy to admit that what looks good on the outside is quietly eating you up on the inside.
But the moment you say it — even just to yourself — something shifts.
Your voice gets a little louder. Your peace starts to matter again.
What I’ve Come to Realize:
- You are not lazy for choosing peace.
Don’t let a toxic hustle culture convince you otherwise. - You don’t have to suffer to prove you’re serious.
Real growth isn’t always painful — sometimes, it’s soft and intentional. - You can ask NYSC for help.
Your LGI can support you. You can speak up — and you don’t have to carry the burden alone.
NYSC Was Supposed to Build Me. Not Break Me.
I haven’t left my PPA yet. But I’m close. Every day, I feel a little braver. Every day, I remind myself that I deserve peace, not just placement.
Maybe you’re in the same boat. Maybe your PPA is stretching you too far. Maybe you’re afraid to speak up because you don’t want to be seen as difficult.
Maybe, like me, you’re silently enduring and trying not to break.
But hear this:
You are not weak.
You are not wrong.
You are allowed to ask for more.
I don’t know where this decision will take me yet. I haven’t left—not officially.
But I’ve stopped lying to myself. I’m no longer ignoring the red flags.
And that, for me, is the beginning of freedom.
If you’re on that edge too, I hope you choose yourself.
Because your NYSC year shouldn’t break you — it should build you.
A Note to Fellow Corps Members
This service year is yours. You don’t have to waste it in a place that makes you feel small. You don’t have to prove your strength by staying where your spirit is shrinking.
Speak up. Ask for help. Choose yourself.
Your NYSC year should not break you.
It should build you.
Have you ever felt stuck at your PPA or struggled with whether to speak up?
Share your experience in the comments — your story might be exactly what someone else needs to read today
