Activist and lawyer Deji Adeyanju has sparked conversation online after saying that dating an unemployed Nigerian woman with expensive tastes can be a serious financial burden for a man.
In a post shared on X, Deji Adeyanju pointed to Nigeria’s difficult economic situation, arguing that people should not rely entirely on their partners to pay their bills.
He wrote:
“If the devil wants to punish you as a man, he will give you a jobless Nigerian babe with high taste. With the extremely bad economic situation of Nigeria, no one should be relying on another person to pay their bills. The country is too hard for you to add a liability to the list.”
The statement has prompted discussions about relationships, financial independence and the expectations partners have of each other.
For Deji Adeyanju, the issue is largely about financial responsibility. With the rising cost of living, depending on another person to consistently fund an expensive lifestyle can place additional pressure on a relationship.
However, unemployment does not necessarily mean that someone is irresponsible. People can lose their jobs, struggle to find work, or go through difficult financial seasons.
At the same time, there is a difference between supporting a partner through a difficult period and being expected to permanently finance a lifestyle that is beyond one’s means.
The conversation also raises questions about financial compatibility in relationships.
How much should couples expect from each other financially? Should both partners contribute equally, or should contributions depend on each person’s circumstances? And when does financial support become financial dependence?
These are conversations many couples may need to have before resentment begins to build.
While Deji Adeyanju’s choice of words has generated strong reactions, the broader issue remains relevant: love and money often intersect, and understanding each other’s financial expectations can be an important part of building a healthy relationship.
